When you've loved and lost, it makes you more unwilling to open yourself to the possibility of ever finding love again. After going through that kind of pain and frustration, it makes you less trustful of possible relationships.
For me I know that I keep thinking, "If I date this person, what're the chances that I'll fall in love with him?" However, the bigger question on my mind is, "If I fall in love with him, how badly will this hurt me later?"
I've loved and lost 3 times so far. It makes me wary of the next time, if there even is a next time. I've become less and less attracted to the idea of finding love. I know a lot of people believe that there is only one person out there for him or her, girls especially, but what I believe is there are several people out there that could potentially be someone you'd want to spend the rest of your life with.
I know some people will automatically think, "Oh, she's not a Christian because the Bible says that God created only one person who's perfect for me, and she doesn't believe that." I'm not trying to tell you that your Religion is right or wrong. To be honest, I've grown up my entire life in a very Christian based family. This is just my opinion because of what I've experienced in life. I'm not trying to say that what I believe is better. I'm just expressing myself, and I hope no one takes offense to this.
Anyway, I've met three guys in my life who could've been "the one." I even believed wholeheartedly that one of them really was, and I think that's why I was so crushed when he broke up with me. After losing my first love, I began to question whether I'd ever find love again. Turns out that I fell in love two more times after him, but with the same results. Because of the hurt and anguish I went through so many times, I've found it hard to trust any guy now.
Every time I meet a guy whom I'm attracted to, my subconscious makes me stop and think about my past, of the pain men have put me through, and of how vulnerable I become when I'm in a relationship. I automatically mistrust this innocent guy who's done nothing so far to deserve this mistrust. Does this make me a terrible person?
I'm trying to keep the past in the past, but sometimes it's just hard to forget. I've forgiven, and I've moved on from my past loves, but I can never forget everything that happened.
But I think that's what makes me so strong today. Because of the pain I've gone through, and because I know what it's like to be in love, it makes me that much stronger to stand on my own right now. Eventually, I would like to be married, but right now, I'm content with where I am in life. I know what makes me happy and what makes me sad. I believe that there's still hope for me - and for anyone who's gone through same thing - to find that special someone.
I guess what I'm trying to say is this:
Don't give up on finding someone to be with. Loving and losing don't define your future happiness. Learn from what happened, and pick yourself back up to go on living. It may seem like the end of the world when you lose someone you were in love with, but it really isn't. Being in love and having that person in your life only makes up part of your life; it's not everything you have to live for. Remember that you have other people in your life that love you for you. Remember that you determine your own happiness.
If anyone has comments or thoughts on this post, please don't be shy. Thank you!
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
Friday, February 24, 2012
Stress Management
I'll let some personal information slip because it's relevant to this blog.
I'm a college student. I am taking 12 hours this semester and working full time to pay for my education. Can you say, "Stress"? At the beginning of this semester, I was really struggling with everything I was trying to do. I had no time to hang out with my friends or go out or just relax. My relaxing time was when I slept.
My problem was I wasn't organized.
Organization is the key to managing a full schedule. I figured out exactly how much time I had to do everything in one week, then divided up all my items on the agenda into time slots. Once I figured out how much time I had between school, work, and sleep, I was able to arrange time to finish all of my homework and get a few hours of free time to do whatever I wanted. I was actually able to go to lunch with a friend the other day and just have fun.
I know I'm not the only college student out there that's taking a full load and working full time. I mean, I know some people who have to do all that and take care of their kids at the same time. Compared to those people, I have it easy, and I applaud their character and determination.
If things become too difficult for you when it comes to stressing out over everything you have to do, just take a step back, take a deep breath, and then try to arrange everything on a time schedule. I know sometimes having things on a schedule doesn't help a lot because "things never go according to schedule," but it sure does make things a heck of a lot easier to keep up with. Maybe just making a list of everything you have to do would suffice to help.
Just keep this in mind when you feel like pulling your hair out over everything you have to do:
You're not alone out there. There's always someone else who's going through the same thing you are. If they can do it, why not YOU? Prove to the world that you're just as strong and determined as the next person. No, prove to the world that you're strongER and MORE determined than the next person. I know you have it in you to do that.
I'd love to hear what you have to say about this entry, so please comment! I know there's more advice out there about stress management, and if you know what it is, please tell me how you do it. I want to hear your thoughts and ideas.
I'm a college student. I am taking 12 hours this semester and working full time to pay for my education. Can you say, "Stress"? At the beginning of this semester, I was really struggling with everything I was trying to do. I had no time to hang out with my friends or go out or just relax. My relaxing time was when I slept.
My problem was I wasn't organized.
Organization is the key to managing a full schedule. I figured out exactly how much time I had to do everything in one week, then divided up all my items on the agenda into time slots. Once I figured out how much time I had between school, work, and sleep, I was able to arrange time to finish all of my homework and get a few hours of free time to do whatever I wanted. I was actually able to go to lunch with a friend the other day and just have fun.
I know I'm not the only college student out there that's taking a full load and working full time. I mean, I know some people who have to do all that and take care of their kids at the same time. Compared to those people, I have it easy, and I applaud their character and determination.
If things become too difficult for you when it comes to stressing out over everything you have to do, just take a step back, take a deep breath, and then try to arrange everything on a time schedule. I know sometimes having things on a schedule doesn't help a lot because "things never go according to schedule," but it sure does make things a heck of a lot easier to keep up with. Maybe just making a list of everything you have to do would suffice to help.
Just keep this in mind when you feel like pulling your hair out over everything you have to do:
You're not alone out there. There's always someone else who's going through the same thing you are. If they can do it, why not YOU? Prove to the world that you're just as strong and determined as the next person. No, prove to the world that you're strongER and MORE determined than the next person. I know you have it in you to do that.
I'd love to hear what you have to say about this entry, so please comment! I know there's more advice out there about stress management, and if you know what it is, please tell me how you do it. I want to hear your thoughts and ideas.
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
Fakers
We all know someone who seems completely and utterly fake. They make things up, exagerate, and generally try to make him- or herself look better than he or she really is.
I know a faker. I used to despise her, talk about her behind her back, and ridicule everything she said or did. I know, I know... What makes me any better than her to give me that right to do that stuff? Truthfully, there was nothing that could ever give me that right.
Yes, I didn't like the girl. Yes, she is considered a "one-upper" in my eyes. Yes, I have no respect for her.
But that was all I could do.
I used to talk about how immature she was and how arrogant and stuck-up she sounded, but then I realized that I was starting to sound exactly like that.
I guess what made me so angry was she was trying to make me upset about my life so she could feel better about herself. And it was working for a while. I became so stressed out and irritated, my temper started to grow, and I started pushing my friends away with how I was acting.
Finally, after a few weeks of this, I hit an all time low and lost one of my best friends because of this whole mess. It made me realize that I was losing sight of the people and the things I loved in my life all because of my reaction to this girl.
As soon as this realization hit home, I started getting my act together. I decided that fighting her wasn't worth all this drama, stress, and frustration in my life. I didn't give up. I just stopped caring about what she did and how she did it. She might think that she's won. Heck, maybe she did. But all I know is that my life is so much easier now that I'm not dealing with this. To me, that's a pretty great victory.
Moral of this story is don't let the Fakers rule your life. Their only power is your reaction. Just leave them be because all they want is attention. If you don't give them that, they will eventually leave you alone. You choose how you live your life. If something like this ever occurs with you, ask yourself this question: "Is this worth changing my life?" Because, believe me, it changes at least one major thing in your life when you try to deal with Fakers.
If you have any other advice to add or just want to talk about an experience you've had, feel free to comment. I'd love to hear what you have to say.
I know a faker. I used to despise her, talk about her behind her back, and ridicule everything she said or did. I know, I know... What makes me any better than her to give me that right to do that stuff? Truthfully, there was nothing that could ever give me that right.
Yes, I didn't like the girl. Yes, she is considered a "one-upper" in my eyes. Yes, I have no respect for her.
But that was all I could do.
I used to talk about how immature she was and how arrogant and stuck-up she sounded, but then I realized that I was starting to sound exactly like that.
I guess what made me so angry was she was trying to make me upset about my life so she could feel better about herself. And it was working for a while. I became so stressed out and irritated, my temper started to grow, and I started pushing my friends away with how I was acting.
Finally, after a few weeks of this, I hit an all time low and lost one of my best friends because of this whole mess. It made me realize that I was losing sight of the people and the things I loved in my life all because of my reaction to this girl.
As soon as this realization hit home, I started getting my act together. I decided that fighting her wasn't worth all this drama, stress, and frustration in my life. I didn't give up. I just stopped caring about what she did and how she did it. She might think that she's won. Heck, maybe she did. But all I know is that my life is so much easier now that I'm not dealing with this. To me, that's a pretty great victory.
Moral of this story is don't let the Fakers rule your life. Their only power is your reaction. Just leave them be because all they want is attention. If you don't give them that, they will eventually leave you alone. You choose how you live your life. If something like this ever occurs with you, ask yourself this question: "Is this worth changing my life?" Because, believe me, it changes at least one major thing in your life when you try to deal with Fakers.
If you have any other advice to add or just want to talk about an experience you've had, feel free to comment. I'd love to hear what you have to say.
Things to Know
This is my first blog. I don't know much about blogging, but I figured this would be a great way to connect with people and get second opinions on a lot of things. Also, this provides a way for me to say what I want to say without fear of people I know laughing at me or yelling at me for some mundane reason.
But first, let me introduce myself. I am Your Friend. I don't want to state my real name because of security issues and other issues stated in the first paragraph. I grew up with my parents loathing technology because of all the negative things being said and all the foul things being done. Needless to say, a bit of their pessimism has slipped into my nature. Can't be too safe, right? Anyway, some things I love are reading, writing, and drawing. Real original, I know. Haha. I'm also into playing tennis, but I don't know a lot about the tennis community. That being said, if anyone asks questions about stats and/or facts, I'll try to answer to the best of my knowledge, but I'm more or less going to say, "I don't know."
Oh, and one thing that is crucial to know about me is I like to state my opinions about things. Some people have the common misconception that because I think a certain way, I'm dead set on that. Truth is, my opinions change all the time. Plus, they're just my opinions, and I'm not looking to stir the pot on any subject. If something I post or comment on offends anybody who reads my blog, please, let me know. I'm not saying I'll remove or take back what I say, though. If you have a problem, I'd love to hear your opinion and why you think that way. Who knows, you might sway me to your way of thinking.
Anyway, I hope you enjoy my thoughts and ideas.
But first, let me introduce myself. I am Your Friend. I don't want to state my real name because of security issues and other issues stated in the first paragraph. I grew up with my parents loathing technology because of all the negative things being said and all the foul things being done. Needless to say, a bit of their pessimism has slipped into my nature. Can't be too safe, right? Anyway, some things I love are reading, writing, and drawing. Real original, I know. Haha. I'm also into playing tennis, but I don't know a lot about the tennis community. That being said, if anyone asks questions about stats and/or facts, I'll try to answer to the best of my knowledge, but I'm more or less going to say, "I don't know."
Oh, and one thing that is crucial to know about me is I like to state my opinions about things. Some people have the common misconception that because I think a certain way, I'm dead set on that. Truth is, my opinions change all the time. Plus, they're just my opinions, and I'm not looking to stir the pot on any subject. If something I post or comment on offends anybody who reads my blog, please, let me know. I'm not saying I'll remove or take back what I say, though. If you have a problem, I'd love to hear your opinion and why you think that way. Who knows, you might sway me to your way of thinking.
Anyway, I hope you enjoy my thoughts and ideas.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)